Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
