I wish i was in the wii world.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
