we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
