it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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