so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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