So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize