If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Randomize
