remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
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