i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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