so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
