P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
