She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
