I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
she told me i tasted like america
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
