I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
