wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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