Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
