pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
