Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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