In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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