Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
