Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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