And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
