I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
So many bounce houses so little time
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Randomize
