She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
