Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
