Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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