Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
