Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
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