I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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