I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
