I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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