I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
