There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
