What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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