will power is for people who don't want to get laid
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
