I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
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