Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
