Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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