Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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