So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
