So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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