i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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