Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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