Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
