this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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