Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
