I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
