the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
