You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
