God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
