dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Randomize
