so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
