Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
