singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize