I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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