Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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