I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
