she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
