dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
