Its about making memories worth repressing
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
