So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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