There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
