does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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