Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
