That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
